A sort of duet for - Two Cats.

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Just up the road from here,

a little to the East of me,

can be found the

'West London Amateur Dramatics Group'.

Now I, can't sing or act, 

but I do admire those who can

and 'get up and have a go'.

Like these two!

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There are loads more on their YT Channel.
Well worth a look.
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Singing Chicken found at last.

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Filmed up in those foothills of Foodyland!

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The Old Sow

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A traditional Sussex folk-song written by Albert Richardson.

My music shows a copyright in 1934 for the original and authentic version.

Albert was the original singer and made recordings on Regal-Zona Record T. 5178 and also on Polydor Record 287 0191.

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"Painted Pianos"

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On "Organ Grinder's Monkey" on my post of 30th May I mentioned that pianos were to be placed around the streets of London and the public were invited to 'have a go'.

The pianos were to be painted in various styles to suit their location.

Some of these are now in position and I have located a web site where they can be seen and where you can leave comments. (www.streetpianos.com)

My first reaction was that I didn't think much of the artwork....I was expecting something better similar to the piano that Deb (of Harmony Club) had painted some years ago.

I expect it was all done on a tight budget.

One tin of paint per piano!!

Here's a few examples from the 38 shown on their web site.

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"Well Blow me down"

Well I've seen some pretty stupid ideas in my time but this really does take the biscuit.

Firstly...vacuum cleaners suck .......and organ pipes require a bit of blow!

Secondly......think of the noise!!!!     Have you ever heard a quiet Hoover???

It looks as if his wife is wearing a hearing aid......so she probably thinks it sounds wonderful.

I wonder what the tune is?.....

......"Where the Bee sucks, there suck I"  perhaps?

 

'A Storm in a D-cup'.

Sorry to lower the tone of this usually high class blog.......but one has to smile sometimes!

We boobed,” says the latest Marks & Spencer advertising campaign. The high street store has just agreed to stop charging £2 extra for larger bras, after a campaign by a group called......

    Busts 4 Justice.

 As the chairman, Sir Stuart Rose, admitted: “We were wrong.”

The row over M&S underwear was, according to the headline writers, a storm in a D-cup.

Busts 4 Justice.........I like it.

And now ....on a not totally unconnected theme I notice that the W.I. ladies are at it again.

The original WI "Calendar Girls" have taken their clothes off for charity once more. 

Wearing little more than a smile and a trademark set of pearls, six members of the Yorkshire-based Women's Institute have been reunited for a new 2010 calendar.

The youngest of them, Chris Clancy, is now 57; the oldest, Beryl Bamforth, is 75. They are to be pictured in typical WI scenes, their modesty protected only by a baby-grand piano, a tea pot and sprouting broccoli on a vegetable patch.

The 2010 calendar is the first to be shot in colour rather than sepia.

Mrs Baker, 63, who can be seen playing the piano in February, said: "I was a bit apprehensive about colour, because older women can look a bit funny in colour, and we wanted it to be just as good as the first one".

Do you know I found this bit of news by Googling ......

....baby-grand piano....tea pot......sprouting broccoli.

And if you believe that........

 

By the way.......the date on that sheet music, in case you can't read it, is  1895. Not bad condition for 114 years old.

'Like Two Peas'

 

I found quite a number of musical ditties related to fashion. 'Champagne Charlie' came to mind, as did 'The Man who broke the Bank at Monte Carlo'  but after a bit I decided on Fred, mainly because the front sheet was in colour.

I am often told that I have no 'dress sense' whatever, but having never tried on a dress this is hardly surprising!

I'm the sort of person that makes things last until they drop off me or get relegated to 'garden attire'. In fact this little morsel sums me up to a tee.

                     I never cared for Fashion,

                         I find a trifle tame

                   My fellow creatures passion

                      For looking all the same;

                    Let those those who please

                           Be like two peas,

                   But spare this poor old man,

                             It pleases me

                            To look and be

                       As different as I can.

Especially when Organ Grinding.

 

And before you enquire......Yes I have appeared in public dressed like this!!!!

 

"I Lift up my Finger....."

 

Twitter was created three years ago and lets people post 140-character messages or 'tweets' that can be viewed by friends who have agreed to 'follow' them online.

But research company Nielsen Online revealed that 60 per cent of users stop using the free website just a month after joining it.

Nielsen's David Martin said.

‘There simply aren't enough new users to make up for defecting ones and unless more users continue with the service..... twitters days could be numbered.

This 'micro-blogging' service allows people to send  'tweets', to strangers about what they're doing, eating or thinking, no matter now trivial, mundane or embarrassing. 

Why have we become a nation of over-sharers whose value and worth depends our public popularity - how many virtual acquaintances and followers we have? 

One clinical psychologist, suggested that people's desire to provide others with a constant stream of information stems from a lack of identity. 

Others have argued that using these constant updates suggests a level of insecurity.

Well, whatever reason people have for ‘twittering’ I believe that  a coffee with your next-door neighbour would do more for your brain than 1,000 virtual messages. 

There must surely be, a better way to pass the time, than typing a message to a hundred or even a million anonymous followers to tell them you're bored. 

Now blogs are a very different 'kettle of fish'. All of the one's I read are interesting, entertaining and informative.

 

This Comic Foxtrot was published in 1929 and part of the chorus line is:-

              I lift up my finger and I say

              "Tweet tweet,  shush shush,

                  now now,  come come".

 

Enough to drive you to twitter!

 

"April Shower"

I don't belieeeeeeve it.......

And he actually looks as if he is enjoying it !

Oh yes, the music...this one dates from 1928. Around that time there seemed to have been quite a run on these rather 'silly' songs;  the words are sometimes quite ridiculous but a lot of them had catchy tunes which can be easily arranged to 20 or 26 note scale. 

“A Bit of Stick” from ASDA

I noticed last week that Asda is to start marketing towards Britain's ageing population by selling walking sticks (and other mobility aids).

Spokesman Dermot McLaughlin said: “It is about time the things that make life easier are easier to buy." 

The very products that are created to make life easier for people have been cursed by a strange irony - they are unnecessarily difficult to access. 

"They should be easily available to customers, but the existing government system can be slow and restrictive." 

The range will initially be sold in 75 Asda stores after Easter, before being rolled out nationwide if it proves popular.

A bit difficult to find ‘mobility aid’ music.....but how about this?

Published in 1931 to promote "The National League of Hikers" and organised by the Daily Herald.

Do you remember the Herald? ......I used to deliver it as a paper-boy, 55 years ago!

"Everything stops for Tea"

All tea comes from the dried leaves of Camellia sinensis, the tea plant that was first cultivated in China and later found growing in India. 

Tea is the second most popular beverage in the world, with water being the first. 

Several factors affect the flavour characteristics of tea: where the tea is grown, the climate, soil conditions, and how the tea is processed. 

Tea is harvested after each "flush" - the sprouting of the top two leaves and bud. The top two leaves and bud are hand-plucked and then processed into one of the four main types of tea - Black, Oolong, Green, and White. 

Black Tea is withered, fully oxidized and dried. Black tea yields a hearty, amber-coloured brew. 

Oolong Tea is generally referred to as "semi-fermented" or partially oxidized tea. It principally comes from China and Taiwan (often called Formosa, its former Dutch name). Oolong tea falls between black and green tea in taste. 

Green Tea skips the oxidizing step. It is simply withered and then dried. 

White Tea is the least processed. It is not oxidized or rolled but simply withered and dried by steaming.

The first samples of tea reached England between 1652 and 1654. Tea quickly proved popular enough to replace ale as the national drink of England. 

Prior to the introduction of tea into Britain, the English had two main meals-breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was ale, bread and beef. 

Dinner was a long, massive meal at the end of the day.

 The Duchess of Bedford (1788-1861) was one of the first to adopt the European tea service format. She invited friends to join her for an additional afternoon meal at five o'clock in her rooms at Belvoir Castle. The menu centred around small cakes, bread and butter sandwiches, assorted sweets, and, of course, tea. 

This summer practice proved so popular, the Duchess continued it when she returned to London, sending cards to her friends asking them to join her for "tea and a walking the fields." (London at that time still contained large open meadows within the city.)

 The practice of inviting friends to come for tea in the afternoon was quickly picked up by other social hostesses.

A common pattern of service soon merged. The first pot of tea was made in the kitchen and carried to the lady of the house who waited with her invited guests, surrounded by fine porcelain from China.

 The first pot was warmed by the hostess from a second pot (usually silver) that was kept heated over a small flame. Food and tea was then passed among the guests, the main purpose of the visiting being conversation. 

I have to admit I am not a great tea drinker, but if I am going to have a cuppa, I do prefer it strong.

My sister-in-law however, is completely the opposite. So I will finish with a little ode...

                 I think that I shall never see,

            A drink as weak as poor Jane's tea:

            For when it pours out from the pot,

                   I can't tell if it's tea or not !

               The water's there for all to see,

              But only God could find the tea.

"To Kiss or not to Kiss ?"

                            I ventured out with a boy last night,

                              Who I thought that I could trust

                     But as we walked home, he said with a groan,

                                 I must kiss your lips or bust!

                              I couldn’t think what to say or do

                              To preserve my maidenly vows -

                        So I said “Let’s make it the lips tonight

                       ‘Cos I’m wearing a high-necked blouse!”

The picture is from my collection of Victorian sheet music.

The 'music covers' a hundred years ago were very well presented.

The Victorians always seemed to do everything so well, unlike today where everything is governed by economics.

They were, however, not cheap to buy....most are marked up at 2/-  or even 2/6d....not a small amount for a Victorian household.

This one however comes from my 'Blue book'.

                Every time Lady Lowbodice swoons,

                  Her boobies pop out like balloons;

                        But her butler stands by

                         With hauteur in his eye

            And lifts them back in with warm spoons !

"Cranes think they're Planes"

Whooping cranes have been all but wiped out in North America through hunting and disease, but now conservationists have tried to boost numbers with a hand rearing programme at a refuge in Wisconsin. 

But having been born in captivity the birds don't understand how to migrate south to escape the harsh winter weather. 

Ever since they were hatched, they've been tricked into believing this featherless microlight is the parent they should follow by playing recordings of simulated crane calls.

When the aircraft takes off the flock follow in a replica of what nature had intended. 

Over a period of three months the birds trail behind the microlight for a distance of more than 1,250 miles from the Necedah National Wildlife Refuge in central Wisconsin to the Chassahowitzka National  Wildlife Refuge on the west coast of Florida.

So, my question is "Wouldn't it have been easier to fly out the eggs to Florida and hatch them out there ?

"Bits and Bobs"

At the Orwell prize presentations, the blog prize went to the Nightjack blog. He's a real life police detective and writes an excellent blog about police matters, although he often strays wider than that. 

Nightjack is easily the best blog I read when it comes to knowledge of subject matter, lack of ego and really interesting posts. A worthy winner.

Because he writes anonymously, he couldn't be there to receive his award but congratulations anyway.

On a light-hearted police theme……

            The local P.C. from Asuncion,

       Attempted to swallow his truncheon;

        When they asked, “Are you mad?”

             He said, “No, but I’ve had

      Far too much beer with my luncheon !”

    An old Bobby from near Clapham Junction,

     Whose organ had long ceased to function,

                  Deceived his good wife

                  For the rest of her life

    With the aid of his Constable’s truncheon !

Gosh......I hope this doesn't get me on the DNA database !

Caught in the Act

                              A young Trapeze artist named Bract,

                                      Is faced with a very sad fact.

                                            Imagine his pain

                                        When again and again,

                                    He catches his wife in the act  !

"Jolly Boating Weather"

I read today that affluent Americans are beginning to relinquish anything that costs something to maintain and that it is liable to be abandoned where it stands. 

Yacht owners around the country are ditching their boats in huge numbers. Officials say people simply cannot afford – or be bothered – to pay high maintenance prices, mooring fees or even the cost of disposing of them. The market has collapsed and so boats are abandoned, leaking toxins and providing navigational hazards. In South Carolina alone, 150 abandoned vessels have been found since January, when the state introduced a law to make it an offence to abandon a boat on a public waterway

My brother, Adrian, however has decided to 'buck the trend', and has snapped up a bargain in mid Wales. I think he may need a bit more water though !

His wife, Jan, meanwhile had her eyes on another bargain.....still a shortage of water ..... and also it seems to need a cabin !

Only joking Ade, .....Enjoy.

"Happy Easteregg"

And may I wish all Friends, Followers and Readers (?), a very Happy Easter break.

And just to put a smile on your face....

                                 She’s good on the Piano and,

                                 She’s fine on the Harmonium,

                                 She’s excellent on everything,

                                 But best on the linoleum !

"Paper Roll Production Halted"

Production of my latest arrangement was brought to a halt today.

Wesley thought my "marking-out" board was an ideal place for a kip in the sun.

Oh yes.......the music?........"Keep your Sunny Side Up"

"No Wonder the Birdies Sing"

Business in the ‘bird care’ industry is booming thanks to enthusiastic householders buying extravagant birdhouses, gourmet birdfood and sumptuous nesting material in a bid to lure the feathered friends into their gardens.

Britons are forking out millions of pounds a year on these luxurious materials – so birds can use them to build nests.

It means the industry is now worth a recession-defying £200million a year – even though experts say most of the paraphernalia is entirely unnecessary as birds are happiest with a ‘bog standard’ nest box and a few scraps of food.

However people a still buying expensive products like…. a blend of oats, peanut granules, sunflower hearts, suet, apple and sultana topped with rowan berries is aimed at blackbirds and thrushes, while the mix for robins and tits contains a less appetising ingredient: crushed insects.

 Both cost about £37 for a 55lb bag.

Jeff Baker, from the British Trust for Ornithology research charity, said: ‘Because it is now big business there is a competitive element and everyone is looking for the next thing.

The latest bird food to hit the shelves is sultanas,’ said Mr Baker. ‘They are packaged as bird food so they are more expensive than ordinary sultanas in the supermarket, but they are the same.’

"What a Load of Old Tripe"

"Experts studying the complex aroma of chips have discovered what makes the snack smell so delicious.

Food scientists at Leeds University unravelled the smell using a laboratory and human noses.

They broke down the smell into components using a process known as gas chromatography mass spectrometry.

The results showed chip aroma is made up of butterscotch, cocoa, onion, flowers, cheese and IRONING BOARDS.

The research was commissioned by the Potato Council for National Chip Week."

What a load of old tripe!

I feel a song coming on.......

Tripe, tripe, beautiful tripe,

A gradely sight is a plate of tripe.

If I'd a pound it would soon be gone,

The same to you with vinegar on.

Dream, dream of a lovely thick seam,

Always in season and ripe;

I'm all of a dither when I see

A whacking great plateful of Tripe.