"A Grave Warning"

All over the country you can find gravestones with amusing lines. In fact there are booklets published listing hundreds of epitaphs.

This one sprang to mind after reading todays papers.

"Let the wind go free, where'ere you be;

For the lack of wind, was the death of me."

Unless of course you are a footballer.

A footballer has been given a yellow card for distracting a penalty taker with "ungentlemanly conduct" by breaking wind.

A referee decided that a Chorlton Villa player made the noise deliberately whilst a penalty shot was being taken. The player taking the spot-kick, was distracted and the shot was  saved. The ref. ordered it to be retaken.

"The player who made the noise was booked for ungentlemanly conduct – trying to put the other player off," the ref. told the Manchester Evening News.